Voices - Personal
I have it worse than you...
Recently dated a white french man who told me the discrimination he faced in the workplace (we both work in finance) was the same / worse than the discrimination I faced as an Asian female. This lack of awareness from his perspective, the denial of his privilege (whether that be race or gender) confirms to me how far there is still to go on this topic.
Too many stories...
... where do I start? Too many stories from birth in the UK into adulthood. From childhood, minding my own business playing with friends in a park and being punched in the face by a gang of younger white females and to adulthood where I needed to justify everything inclusive of my well earnt qualifications .. seemingly innocent questions such as "how did you get in to Cambridge? Did you get in on a scholarship?" I got into Cambridge in the same manner as all eligible - by getting excellent grades and hard work. And no I didn't get a free ride / scholarship. Isn't it generally the rich white elite kids that have their parents pay them into prestigious universities? Why do asian or black people or any minority have to keep justifying our existence and our achievements? Most of us came to the UK because the British took our ancestors from our own countries. Would urge those that keep saying "go back to your own country"... unfortunately for you, your ancestors made this MY country too.
Brexit... oh Brexit
The labels, the abuse, the sick mentality of those who feel Asians have brought 'their country' all sorts of badness. My family came over in the 60s from east Africa (of indian/gujarati descent) - I remember hearing the stories from my extended family of how brutally they were treated when they first came to England. But they powered through as they trusted the people who brought them over and wanted their kids to have a better life. Since the Brexit vote, seems like we've reverted back to the 60's/70's. My family fear (especially with Coronavirus BAME stats), that there's going to be targeted attacks on us and our loved ones. It's quite depressing when you think about it....
All because of the colour of my skin....
A few years ago whilst living in Surrey, my husband and I went to our local pub as we often did. I’m Indian, my husband’s not. That night as we entered, a lady who we didn’t recognise said " They’re out the back!".
"Who is?" we said.
"The party that you’re with." said the lady.
Intrigued we went out the back. An Indian family were having dinner and drinks. We turned to the lady with surprise and it took her a little while to figure out that we were just a couple going out for a drink. She was more embarrassed than us but we were annoyed that she had just assumed we were with the other party just because of the colour of my skin!
They shouldn't be here... taking our jobs
I was about to go into my local Waitrose as I had done for the past year or so. I could hear the two ladies just next to me looking at me disgustingly and complaining to each other about me...it was something like ‘ they shouldn’t be here, taking all our jobs’ I asked them what the problem was and they swore at me and told me to go back.. I said ‘where to Manchester’. I’ve had this many many times and you don’t get used to it..it disgusts me more each time.
Does she smell / taste of curry?
....this was an experience with my first white boyfriend at university. He was lovely, liberal and open... yet his friends were not. One of the questions they asked him was "Does she smell/taste of curry?". I've never forgotten nor forgiven him that he also laughed at that. It wasn't funny to me.
They're not even from this country....
Too many to count...countless 'nihaos' even though I am of Japanese descent. Ticket inspector on train told me nihao once and when I said I was British, he said " you're not though are you?" Queued for a club once with a half Jamaican guy and British guys getting kicked out said "why are they getting let in, they're not even from this country"
Whilst on dating apps
....the "where are you from?" question. I reply "London..." response I get "No... but where are you really from?". This is infuriating so please stop. I also get as an opener "Oooo you look exotic!". I'm not exotic...
But you're alright mate - I don't mean you.
I've hung around predominately non-ethnic people my whole life. The one line I used to hear after my friends/neighbours finished ranting about ethnic minorities was "...but you're alright mate - I don't mean you or your family, you guys are different". I wish I had the confidence to speak up and correct them... instead I nervously accepted what they said and laughed it off...
There goes the neighbourhood...
My parents ran a Post Office/ newsagents in a mainly white middle class area of West London. I lost track of the amount of times customers “joked” about how “there goes the neighbourhood” (we took over from another Indian family!) or how many times I was told I spoke very good English for “one of my kind”....
As a black man in the UK....
....I've lost count of the amount of purse switches that happen to me on a daily basis. Once I step out of the doors of my corporate job, people assume (due to the colour of my skin) that I'm a shady character.
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